Coming Home

This past 6 days have been incredible.  Words cannot describe what it was like for me to finally come home to Boston & see my family & friends out here.  I start writing this while I'm sitting on the plane home & I never wanted more than to get off a flight in my entire life.

The first thing I have to say I was really fortunate to be able to eat breakfast every day with the Kalligheri family - besides the first day where we had lunch at the cafe.  I felt so loved & like it wasn't my first time here from the moment we walked in -  thank you Mama Debbie, Guy, Ellie, & Aunties.  Your love & hospitality was one of a kind & truly appericated by both of us.

I had a few goals on this trip that I was able to accomplish & that fact is amazing.  My first goal was to see as many friends & family as I possibly could - thank you so much to the Kalligheri's, Our awesome Boston Tour Guide Colton Bradford, Michele - our breakfast date was only 19 years in the making as well - & Mike & Kari Sawyer for letting watch the Bruins lose in TD Garden.  It was also pretty cool to take Kari to her first Concert ever.... & Garth Brooks at that!  She'll never top her first!

My next goal was to be able to see every Boston sports stadium -  Boston sports have meant so much to my life.  Gillette, Fenway, & TD Garden - mean so much more now that we got to see them in person.  The next sporting event will be so much cooler when I have been there!

My next goal was to get my last 6 remaining states in the continental USA - Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Maine, Rhode Island, Connecticut, & Vermont.  It took me 33 years to do all 48 - & it'll probably take me 33 years to check off my last two - Alaska & Hawaii! 😁

I have many pictures on my phone (I forgot my camera....). I'll be making a video once I get home & get caught up on life.  My phone is almost full!  I had to delete a bunch of stuff even! :/

My last thing I wanted to do was a secret that only one person knew about as it was the hardest thing I had to do on this trip.  I finally got to bring snickers to my brother.

Sorry I didn't make it home till now Justin...  But I knew you watched over us through our trip & make sure we had an amazing trip.  Thanks for making me do this journey.

I love you Justin.

Until next time Boston.  You have my heart.

Dear Justin -

Thanks for the sign when I needed it the most.  As I struggle physically with illness & mentally with anxiety- you reminded me slow & steady wins the race....

I love you Brother.  Thanks for always watching over me. ❤️

* I found this in the most random place at my part time job.  :)

The Chain of Love

Today has been a day of rushing - but a pretty cool day if I say so myself!  After working my part time job, I rushed down to Edina to visit with my Endocronolgist.  I got to surprise him with the person he seen half asleep in December was now training to run a 5k.  Seeing his face when I told him is something I was always remember in this journey.

After my appointment, I ran home quickly to receive love notes in the mail from my Auntie Suzy & Uncle Wayne.  Words can not thank you both enough for the card, check, & tshirt you guys sent.  Mind over Matter could truly be used to describe my journey so far.  I will work extra hard when wearing it to the gym for you both.  I love you both so much! Thank you sooo much.

I headed off to the Gas Station before my full time job.  I was pumping my gas when a lady gave me a coupon for .20 cents off a gallon instead of my .14 coupon I had. I thanked her profusely & started searching for a person to give my coupon to.

I found a person & she was quite happy to receive it.  As I walked out the door, I had a big smile on my face & joy in my heart.  I was so honored to pay someone's random act of kindness forward.

As I walked to my car - the lyrics to this song came in my head....

"https://www.youtube.com/embed/mVQGQ0wh7eY

Don't let the chain of love end with you.  

I sure won't

Temporary Setback

It's been a long week.  I got sick on Tuesday night &  it's really taken a lot of wind out of my sails.  I couldn't work out, & I feel like I'm failing behind.  I totally hate the feeling.  I'm sitting a minute clinic right now to see if it's more than a cold. Whatever it is, it's only a temporary set back.... & my awesome supporters have kept me motivated this week - so big thanks to them!

* Marty & Carolyn Lundeen

* Dennis & Peg Hoff

* Wayne & Suzy Schuman

* Jeff & Mary Lundeen

* Jane LeClair

* Cindy Chapman

* Diane Vaughn

* Roger & Jane Anthony

This weekend will be spent getting ready to go to Boston for our Anniversary- a trial run maybe!  Looking so forward to finally meeting the Kalligheri family after 19 years... Spending time with awesome sauce Colton Bradford - & of course our friends Mike & Kari Sawyer.  

Jason & I will celebrate our 7 years together by seeing Garth Brooks for the 7th time - & 6 years to the day we seen him for our 1st anniversary in Vegas.  How Cool!!

I could not ask for more.

It's all worth it

Some days - it's hard.  Last night, I was really struggling with achy legs & just being plain tired.  I'm only getting about 6 hours of sleep in a usual night & anyone that knows me knows that I need at least 8.  Don't get me wrong - I'm not complaining at all!  I chose this journey & im glad I'm on it.  Especially when I get home & receive this note in the mail from Jason's aunt Bonnie:

Jason's Cousin Jenny is one of my

"Whys" in choosing to do this race.  It brought tears to my eyes to read that Jenny was so excited!  I can't wait to make her & her family proud of me.  I taped her note on my wall to look at if I ever feel like giving up.  Thank you so much Bonnie & Jenny for sending me this on a day I really needed it!

Thank you to those who donated this week.  

* Lyndsay & Wayne Deitner

* Ashley & Jessi Oliver

* Bonnie & Craig Gilland

I sincerely appericate it with all my heart & I'm hard at work on special Thank You gifts for June!

Just got done with my workout & my Valentine is bringing me to the Wild-Bruins Game!  I can't lose this one!  Happy Valentine's Weekend!  Love y'all!

To Eat or Not Eat...

To eat those excerise calories, some of them or not eat them at all.... That is the question.

Personally - I've had success with eating some of them back but never all.

When talking to my awesome personal trainor & friend Nichole the other day -  she recommended not eating a single one back.

Any recommendations out there?  (Hey Nick- that means you!  & I loved rowing!)

My Road Warrior

I won't be making this journey alone!  Of course - I have the support of my family & friends...and my donors.  I got some good Angels watching over me...  (Hi Grandma & Justin - plus a chorus of angels who have left my life)...  I have the unconditional support of my husband, who thought I was crazy at first.  There's my best buddy Jeff & his family that are some of my biggest fans....  

But I need my road warrior, who has fought battles far greater than this one.  Let me introduce you to her pretty face

My Mama!

As many of you know, my mama & I have always been best friends.  We are pretty much inseparable & spend so much of pur free time together.

As you all know as well, my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer in September of 2012.  Her road has been nothing short of an uphill battle since...  A failed operation & painful recovery...  Chemoradiation...  Chemo.  Blood transfusion.  Oxygen dependence.  A big scare.

But she's a fighter & one of my biggest inspirations.  She was giving 30% chance of making it 5 years when she was diagnosed.  This September will bring 4 years with continuous good reports from the oncologist.  

When I decided to make this trip - I knew I needed her to be there to Cheer me on.  Life's too short to waste another minute & she's always wanted to see the East Coast.  Plus she'll get to meet her other son's family finally as well.

I took a second job in Janurary to cover all our expenses for the trip out there.  Logistics have been a little hard since we'll need oxygen for her.  But no challenge is too big for me to handle.

(Side note: I've been asked if the funds raised for this will be going to cover the cost of my travel expenses.  Absolutely not.  All funds go to Best Buddies - I will not see a dime.  I'm also 100% liabile for all unraised funds on May 20th.  If I don't meet my fundraising goal, it will be out of my pocket.  My second job will pay for all our travel expenses.)

I look forward to being able to share this experience with my mom. She is the one that gave me my heart & taught me how to fight for all I wanted...

In a way - I'm doing this for her too.  If she can beat the odds, I can too.

An Open Letter to My Critics

I'm not sure if I'll even post this.  I'm even more sure you'll never read this - because all you've ever cared about is yourself & your world.  But it's something I have to get off my mind so I can move past your negativity & use it as motivation to make my journey even bigger.

When you contacted me last week, I was shocked.  I couldn't even find words to respond to you at first.  Whatever I did say after that - was super polite & unconfrontational.  Because that's who I am & not who you are.  Since then, a million things have ran through my head on what I really should have said instead.

I'm not sorry & I shouldn't have to ask your permission to share the words in my heart.  This journey I am on is for me, not you.  Sure I want to honor those I care about as well - & the fact is...  That's all I have done my whole life. I'm sorry that you don't agree with my choices - but they are mine.  Not yours.

I didn't any say anything hurtful, private, untruthful, or disrespectful.  If you think anything I've said has been, that's on you - not me.  You obviously don't know my heart or had enough respect for me to ask me.  

I guess my only regret is caring when I thought you cared too.  But maybe that's the reason you are no longer a part of my life like you once were.  You've cared only about yourself & never about anyone else.  You've heaped yourself in self pitty & claimed you've never wanted pitty from anyone else. Your actions are just the opposite - especially when you chose to write a "pitty" statement following.

So my only apology is really that I'm sorry that I ever cared about you or your life.  I stopped caring now that I've completely removed you from my life.

I'll use your words as motivation.... Motivation to help & love others who need my help, love, & support - motivation to keep being the kind hearted person I am.  Motivation on days I'm tired & don't want to work out.  Motivation to give those a voice to those who can't speak for themselves.  Because that has was always my intention in the first place.

In closing - I guess I do want to say thank you.  Thank you for inspiring me to become an even better person.  I'll pray for you that you do the same one day.

Training Plan?!?!!?!?

I've never been an athlete... Runner..... Or whatever.  I lost all my weight by diet, walking & Biggest Loser Cardio Max DVD along with a 30 day ab challenge I did over & over again.

As part of joining the YMCA, I get a free consult with a trainor - which happens to be my friend Nichole!  I'm really looking forward to working with her & getting her advice.

I work a second part time job mainly on Tuesdays & Thursdays... Leaving Monday/Wednesday/Friday as my "gym" days & sometimes on the weekend if I don't have other plans...

I'm a newbie & still on weight restrictions from an injury in December...  So I've been only doing cardio so far.  I want the advice of those that have been here before....  The very beginning..

Once I return to be able to use weights, here's my training plan:

Monday: Cardio (warm up, couch to 5k, elliptical/stairs), sauna

Wednesday: Cardio (warm up/couch to 5k) & strength, sauna

Friday: Reward Day!  Swimming/Hot Tub/Sauna

Weekends: warm up, swimming, couch to 5k

Any advice is greatly appreciated 

It's not the physical challenge....

Believe or not, the hardest part of this challenge isn't training to running 3 miles.  It's not spending 3+ days a week at the gym (I actually enjoy & miss it on my days I work my 2nd job)

The hardest part is dollars & sense for me.  I've never been a business woman or even a sales man for that.  I've always just put my head down and work hard for everything I ever wanted.  If I didn't want it bad enough, then I wouldn't get it.

Fundraising is going to be the hardest part of this challenge for me, hands down.  I hate asking for money.  I hate asking people for anything - but that is part of the challenge for me. - to extend myself to not just grow physically but also personally.

The night after I accepted this challenge and registered - I laid in bed having an anxiety attack.  I wanted so bad to withdraw from the race.  Not at all because I don't think I can run 3 miles.... it's because I didn't think I could raise $1750.00.  I wanted just to pay it out of my pocket and not have to deal with it.  I texted my friends Jeff and Colton to ask for reassurance.  I talked it out with my husband a million times and came up with worst case scenrios

I wasn't even sure until I sat down to write my fundraising letter that I found peace.  I am not the strongest writer (or speller.  I just had lunch with my 4th grade teacher, Mr. Metzger.  That was one thing he specifically remembered about me!)  The words flowed from my heart.  Tears filled my eyes.  I was so proud of the letter I wrote.  I'm sure many of you reading this have received it or had a chance to read it on my site.  I knew that Justin had help me find the words to write this, and somehow he told me that he's gonna make sure it all works out.

I'm grateful for the people that have already donated this week:

• Jeff and Marielle Kalligheri
• Patty Krieger
• My Parents, Rick and Sue Aldrich
• Liz Stillwell
• Leigh-Anne and Dave Lighthall
• Deb and Chuck Remillard
• Shelby Worthington

Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for believing in me, my journey, the cause, and your support.  I will make you so proud!

Let's Lose the Stigma.

It's seems like now a days you are "different" if you aren't normal.  But what exactly is "normal" or even "different."

My whole life I have been teased & told what I wasn't.  I wasn't skinny. Beautiful. Rich.  I was never coordinated & didn't have any talents that I thought mattered. I wasn't in relationships until after my peers.  I was once told by a close family member that I must be lesbian cause I never had brought a boyfriend to family events.  I remember being teased by a boy in 5th grade just to be teased for standing up for myself.

The point is - we are all different & there truly is not a normal person in this world. We all have strengths - we all have weaknesses - we are all "able" & "disabled" at the same time. We all are the same -  we eat, sleep, breathe, live, laugh, and love.  What we like and our talents are what make us unique & special.

Many people would be surprised to learn I struggle with anxiety.  If I ever tell someone new, it's like super surprising to people.  They say "you are so friendly.  You are always happy.  I don't understand how you aren't normal."

There is many thing people don't know about me.... Like that I was molested by a babysitter when I was young or that I was pretty close to committing suicide one summer in my teens.

Does that make me different?  Does that make me "normal?"  Absolutely not.

I've had terrible things happen to me in and out of my control.  It's pretty much no secert to anyone reading this I suffer from PCOS Syndrome (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) - along with hyperthyroidism & POTS- that will leave me never to be called a mom.

Do I want your pitty?

Absolutely not.

But does that mean I should be ashamed of who I am or that I struggle with these conditions.

Absolutely Not.

The more awareness that can be brought to these issues is the best thing that possibly could ever happen.

Im such a strong adovcate of giving everyone a voice - right or wrong.  Black, white, purple, or orange.  Small or old.  I have my own personal beliefs but that don't mean they are right or that they count less than anyone else.

I guess that's another reason why running for Best Buddies is the perfect organization to do this fundraiser for. A lot of times - people with physical, intellectual, & even emotionally disabilities are not accepted or given a voice in our society.  Best Buddies gives these people that are often "cast of" by society a voice & a meaningful chance to make a difference in not only their own lives - but in those around them as well.

We need to end the stigma that we need to take pitty on others because they aren't "normal."  But what is "normal" & show me one person that is "normal"

The answer my friends is no one is.

Everyone deserves a voice - a chance to be heard - a chance to live life to the fullest - and a chance not to be looked down upon for what they don't have...  Because nobody on this earth has everything.

Let's end the stigma. 

It's okay to be who we are & live the life the good lord chose for us to the fullest.

Every single life matters.

Captain Nick

Lots to say, but first let's meet Team Justin's Love Honorary Co Captain & Beautiful Angel- Nick Fletcher.

Do you believe in fate?  In Angels? Spirits?  Things you can't see....?

I do.  I believe loved ones we've lost are never far away & that is definitely the case with Justin.

In late 2013 when I was working at the auction company, I heard we were getting a new employee named Greg.  A coworker of mine said that he had a wife & son that both had health problems.  Immediately- my big heart opened up.

When Greg started working with us, he was shy & so polite.  I immediately respected him & enjoyed working with him.  As days past, we began to open up more about our lives.  I was still mourning Justin's passing & coping with my mom's cancer diagnosis the prior year.  

Greg told me about his son Nick that was born with Lowe's Syndrome and was never supposed to live beyond his early years.  To learn more about Lowe's Syndrome, please visit: http://lowesyndrome.org

That year at Christmas, my heart felt like I needed to do something special for Greg as he had so much on his plate & I wanted to help him out.  I went with Jason to Sam's Club where I picked up a nice gift basket to leave at his desk secretly.

As luck - or My Angel Justin- would have it, we needed an extra gift for an unexpected person.  I took the gift basket & felt compelled to get a movie theater gift card for Greg instead.  After all - it would be less noticeable secretly placed on his desk.

The morning I brought it in - Greg spent all his time at his desk.  I wanted him to give it to him before many people got into work & see me hide it.  I finally just got the courage to go give it to him in person.

Courage?  Well, maybe not.  I believe I threw at him & told him an angel told me to give this to him.  I ran back to my desk with tears in my eyes & tired to hide.  Greg ran after me with tears in his eyes as well & told me that they had discussed going to the movie on Christmas- but had decided it would be too costly.  I truly believe that was my first act of Justin's Love right from Justin above.  

Greg & I have bonded through the trials & tribulations of his son's health struggles.  Nick fought long and hard - he lived over 20 years longer than any doctor thought he would & survived numerous months despite his hemoglobin being so low.

Nick was a fighter, as much as his dad Greg is.  I never met Nick - I just knew him through his father's love.  He certainly was a very special person & I believe Justin was apart of his welcoming party in heaven.  That's who Justin was - - one of the most loving people I ever knew - & he didn't have to know you to love you!

I challenge myself everyday to live as Nick did - by defying Odds & refusing to give up until he couldn't fight no more.

With Justin & Nick's help, no distance will be to far.  I'm honored to have them as my captains on this journey - guiding me to the finish line & beyond.

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In Loving Memory of Nicholas George Fletcher ~ 1988 - 2015

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Donate at: https://www.bestbuddieschallenge.org/hp/support/#justinslove

Where do I start?

Where do I start?

The answer that has been alluding me for awhile.

Until last week.

Where do I start?  Right here. Right now.

I'm starting this blog to document my journey from "couch to 5k" as I prepare to run the Best Buddies Challenge in Hyannis Port, Massachusetts this summer in loving memory of the Captain of Team Justin's Love - Justin Kalligheri.  But more on his awesomeness later.

My journey started by finding out about the Best Buddies Challenge from Julian Edelman of the New England Patriots.  I'd often heard about this event before, but just brushed it off because it was in Massachusetts & I've never ever been a runner or biker.

When Julian posted it - it was perfect timing for me & I decided at that moment I was going to take up this challenge immediately.  I consulted two of my best buddies - TJL Cofounder Jeff Kalligheri & Awesomeness on the Radio Colton Bradford - they both quickly supported my decision & I officially entered the challenge in Saturday, January 23, 2015.

I've had several people ask me why I've chose to do this particular event.

I've heard questions like why Boston, Why now, Why this Charity, Who is Justin, why does this mean so much to you & etc.  so let me start from the beginning.

I met Jeff Kalligheri in June of 1997 as he was the friend & webmaster of our mutual friend Jason Gatson - 2004 Olympic Silver Medalist in Gymnastics.  Jeff and my friendship got off to a very slow start, but we became very close friends in the year after meeting.  Jeff has always been & will always be since then a rock in my foundation - my true Best Buddy.  Jeff has picked me up by my boot straps, stood by me as I went through bad relationship & eventually by my side as I married the love of my life  & pretty much knows me far better than I know myself.

Jeff was born a twin to Justin on April 6, 1981.  Justin's health was never the best from the beginning.  I don't want to share many personal details of Justin's health as its not my story to share, but soon after Jeff & I met Justin was diagnosed with a brain tumor.

Many times when I'd call to talk to Jeff, it would be Justin who answered the phone.  It was pretty much the best slice of heaven to hear his voice & you could feel his smile from all the across the country over the phone.  I loved those calls but as his health declined - I rarely got to speak to him.  So I always spoke to Justin in a language he knew & that my friends was candy.  A few times a year, I'd load up a big box of candy to ship off to the Kalligheri household.  From what I hear, Justin was able to sniff out candy better than a bomb sniffing dog.

Jeff, Justin, & I share a bond much like that of siblings - & I truly believe that we are spiritually family.  I always say I was spiritually born a triplet in Boston, MA on April 6, 1981 to my Boston parents, Debbie & Armand! ❤️

Sadly, Justin lost his battle with his health on October 18, 2013.  Immediately- Jeff's family moved to create Justin's Love Foundation as a perfect tribute to Justin who loved people & life as much as he loved candy & smiling.  In the past 2 1/2 years while mourning Justin's loss, his family & friends have celebrated his memory by giving back in many different ways.

The Best Buddies Challenge is no different for me.  This is a way for me to celebrate Justin's Legacy by giving back to a charity that he's be thrilled to be apart of & also help re-energize myself at the same time.

As many of you know, I've struggled with my weight for a long time.  I was finally diagnosed as hypothyroid in college.  Managing this has proven quite a challenge for my endocrinologist Dr.  Thomas Ladetke of Endocrinology Clinic of Minneapolis. (Very highly Recommended by me!!)

I was finally on a perfect combination of medicine by July of 2014 & I had lost 1-0-0 lbs.  yes.  -100lbs.  I started to have unexplained symptoms of dizziness & fatigue when I stood up to the point I almost passed out.  Many doctors appointments & test later, I was diagnosed with Postural Othrostatic Trachicardia Syndrome (POTS).  As a contributing factor, my thyroid medicines were changed - & my health took a toll.  I gained back a bunch of the weight I lost & felt like crap.

I'm happy to say I'm back on my original medicines now & I am doing great!  This challenge has inspired to join the YMCA & I've been going 3+ a week to train for this event.  My sister in law Inna is my training partner & I'm so excited to be on this journey.

I never got to meet Justin in person or his dad Armand who passed away last fall.  I regret not doing this sooner but I can not live with any regrets.  

The time is now.  

This is where I start.

This blog will detail my journey physically, mentally, emotionally & financially along with telling about each of the fabulous people I'm running this race for.  Please join me on A Journey for Justin.....

Yup.  I'm gonna to run a 5k.  & Justin's Love will be what gets me there. 

 Please make a tax deductible contribution to Team Justin's Love at: https://www.bestbuddieschallenge.org/hp/support/#justinslove

All donations are amazing, no matter how small.  They will be appreciated, overly thanked, & loved like Justin loved candy.

In memory of Justin Kalligheri 

1981-2013 - but his love will live on forever.