I will Praise You in This Storm.

It's not a news flash to anyone I've been struggling lately.  Things have been hard.  10 days ago, I busted out in a raging river of tears on my way home from work.  I felt like I've failed every thing & every one around me.  I was exhausted.  I prayed out to the lord & told him I couldn't possibly fall much further.

His response?  That's cute.  Now I'm going to really turn your life upside down.

I don't know his plan for our lives at this moment.  Never in my life could I have ever foreseen the blow coming from pretty much the last place I could ever expected.

But I trust in the plan God has for our lives.  I have to - because that's all I have at this moment.  

I have nothing left to give.  I'm physically & emotionally exhausted.  I don't think I have anymore tears possibly left to cry.  I've never hurt as much in my life as I've hurt in the past few days.

But I got hope.  I have hope in things to come.  Once I get over the hurt & anger, there is something better coming.  I have the hand of my best friend & a vow we made to better & for worse.

So I'm going to keep fighting.  I'm going to keep running.  I'm going to keep praising my God.  & im going to keep giving myself to serve others even when they are the same ones that have hurt me.  Because that's who I am.  & that's why I'm here.

Thank you to Tom & Carol Peterson & Greg & Lisa Fletcher for your donations this week.  You'll never ever know how much it meant to me in this dark week.

"I was sure by now God you would have reached down & wiped our tears away.  Stepped in & saved the day.  But once again, I say Amen & it's still raining.

As the thunder rolls, I barely hear you whisper through the rain, "I'm with you."  As your mercy falls, I raise my hands & praise the God who gives & takes away.

I will praise you in this storm.  I will lift my hands.  For you are who you are no matter where I am.  Every tear I cry, you hold in your hand.  You never left my side, though my heart is torn.  I will praise you in this storm." - Casting Crowns